The Bawdy Cloister

• VH1 Inside Out: Warren Zevon
  
• Starsky & Hutch
  
• Young Guns
  
• Young Guns II
  
• The George Burns & Gracie Allen Collection
  
• Mystery Science Theater 3000: Beginning of the End
  
• Quiz Show
  
• Homo Heights
  
• Out of Ireland: The Hit Songs and Artists of Irish Music
  
• The Accused
  

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 10:23 PM

Hype

1. Slang Excessive publicity and the ensuing commotion. 2. Exaggerated or extravagant claims made especially in advertising or promotional material. 3. An advertising or promotional ploy. 4. Something deliberately misleading; a deception.

(Credit: Bartleby.com)

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 8:59 AM

Lagniappe:

Chiefly Southern Louisiana & Mississippi 1. A small gift presented by a storeowner to a customer with the customer's purchase. 2. An extra or unexpected gift or benefit.
(Credit: Bartleby.com)

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 11:56 AM

Event Magnet

Magnet depicting a special event (ex. Exhibition, Sporting event.)

Location Magnet

Magnet depicting a specific location (ex. Museum, Park, City.)

State Magnet

Magnet depicting large geographical area (ex. State, Country.)

Commercial Magnet

Magnet advertising a business.

Miscellaneous Magnet

Magnet that does not fall under another definition.

1. Magnet must be purchased on site at time of visit.
   
   
   
2. Preference should be given to magnets produced locally.
   
   
   
3. Preference should be given to magnets that are tacky and garish. This Commandment is subordinate to Commandment II.
   
   
   
4. If magnets are unavailable at a location, one may be handmade with materials acquired at the location.
   
   
   
5. A visit requires both Rowdy and Mrs. Theologian. Magnets acquired on a trip taken individually must be segregated from other magnets when displayed.
   
   
   
6. A visit requires a return home. So a trip from the Cloister to Washington, D.C. for 2 days, then 3 days in Baltimore, back to D.C. for 4 days and back to the Cloister is considered 1 visit to Washington and 1 visit to Baltimore.
   
   
   
7. Only one magnet of each type may be purchased per visit. So, for example, if during a visit to Washington, D.C., I make two trips to the Air and Space Museum and one trip to the White House, I could buy 1 D.C. magnet, 1 Museum magnet, 1 White House magnet, and any number or specific event magnets should there be exhibitions at the museum, but limited 1 per exhibition. Even though I visit the Air and Space Museum twice, it is still considered one visit per Commandment II.
   
   
   
8. State magnets require a minimum stay of 24 consecutive hours in the state. That means no Oregon magnet for a 3 hour layover in Portland.
   
   
   
9. Commercial magnets require having been a customer of advertised business at least once.
   
   
   
10. Miscellaneous magnets are exempt from Commandment V. However, miscellaneous magnets are to be segregated from other magnets when displayed.
    

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 1:43 PM

• The Last Samurai


• Mitch Hedberg: Mitch All Together


• The Weather Underground


• Triumph the Insult Comic Dog: Come Poop with Me


• Brother Bear


• Big Bird in Japan


• Brother's Keeper


• Puni Puni Poemy


• The Bad News Bears


• Norman Rockwell: Painting America


• 12 Angry Men


• The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training


• Texas: The Big Picture


• The Bad News Bears Go to Japan


• Secondhand Lions


• The Sleeping Dictionary


• Lenny

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 9:19 AM

Hands Tied

My head was about to disown me. I spent two hours restocking the “Thrasher” shelves which are only illuminated by black lights. So I wasn’t in the most refined state of mind when this young man found his way up to the counter with a Front 242 CD. Hell, it could have been Ministry; I honestly don’t know or care. It’s all noise to me. The guy was apparently one of those Nazi skins. He wore the oh-so-common Doc Martin footwear, a pair of elastic waisted Levis, and a T-shirt I swear had drool stains around the collar. He had a small swastika stud on the side of his nose that I initially mistook for a zit.

“Ist das alles?” I spoke in my husky winter dialect.

“The hell you just say? This is the U.S., man. Speak English.” I decided to leave the conversation at that; he wasn’t worth losing my voice over. Before long I found myself off the clock and in Dalton’s bookstore.

Emily had another twenty minutes to go. She’d worked double shifts all week and they were beginning to take their toll on her. Her complexion, pale, still seemed healthier than that of a librarian. Although I hadn’t browsed through the store in weeks, I knew pretty much what they kept in stock. I did notice one difference; Kerouac was now categorized under “Literature” rather than “Fiction.” Walden’s had listed him that way all along. Emmy and I both agreed Waldenbooks was the better store, but she never bothered to apply there.

“I’m ready, Jake.”

“Coffee?”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Barnie’s or cheap?”

“I don’t care, just as long as it’s strong.” I swung her backpack over my shoulder and we headed to the Food Court.

Emily settled at a table while I went to get two cups of Joe from the blackest, most shallow pot I could find. I came back to find her hovering over a collection of Dylan Thomas short stories.

“That any good?” I asked placing a cup in front of her.

“Not bad.” She sat up, reaching for her coffee, “then again, I’ve always been partial to Irishmen.” She smiled at me then went back to reading.

“Born in Swansea, Wales on October 27, 1914,” I read aloud from the back cover just before getting kicked in the shin. I pulled a Calvin and Hobbes treasury out from her pack and flipped through the pages. Emmy smirked. She had once referred to me as a “passive intellectual.” Books have always bored me, but I can’t stand illiterate conversation. Any literary knowledge or philosophy I possess can be attributed to the years I’ve spent being Emmy’s sounding board.

“There you go again with your earth-shattering sighs, Jake.”

“I’m sorry. Are you about ready?” Emmy closed her book and packed it away. I stood up and helped her into her coat. The night was bitter cold, and though it wasn’t snowing, the roads were slick.

“Look in the glove compartment, Em.” Emmy opened it and pulled out a copy of Plath’s Winter Trees.

“Happy Birthday. I had to special order it.” Emmy stared at me, her forest green eyes wild with excitement.

“Thank you.” She looked at the book then back at me, “Let’s go back.”

“Back where?”

“Back then.” She lifted the book.

I began to breathe heavily, “You know we can’t.”

“Why not? Let’s go; I mean it.” She was determined.

I sighed, “All right.”

I pulled over at North Hampton Cemetery. After stumbling out of the car, I walked between the monuments. I turned to Emmy; her cold granite stare seemed harder than ever.

“Happy Birthday, Em.”

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 11:06 AM

You're To Kill a Mockingbird!

by Harper Lee

Perceived as a revolutionary and groundbreaking person, you have
changed the minds of many people. While questioning the authority around you, you've
also taken a significant amount of flack. But you've had the admirable guts to
persevere. There's a weird guy in the neighborhood using dubious means to protect you,
but you're pretty sure it's worth it in the end. In the end, it remains unclear to you
whether finches and mockingbirds get along in real life.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Posted by: Rowdy Theologian / 9:18 PM