Monday, January 31, 2005

The Weather Outside is Frightful...


Clippinger Laboratories, Ohio University, Athens, OH

As the debate over shot glasses continues at Ohio University, I thought it was time to weigh in with my opinion. Simply put, OU students can't function sober. The ban is already taking its toll, most notably on the Meteorology Department and its student weathermen. Just watch this clip from campus news.


(Video from Ben Snyder.com. Originally posted to Compfused.com, but their link to this video is now dead.)
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Saturday, January 29, 2005

T.P. for my Blog

A couple of summers ago I attended law classes in Tokyo. I arrived early for orientation at the Sizzler, so I hit a nearby izakaya for a couple of beers then headed back. Just then T.P. arrived on the scene.
After complimenting one another on our beards--same shade of red--we headed in to meet the others. Turned out that there wasn't much need for the others (with a few notable exceptions.) To make a long story short, T.P. and I became pretty good buddies and spent much of our free time together.
The summer ended, I went back to my law school and he to his. I joined the Law Review and published an article on Vietnamese shrimpers, he became a contributor to his law school's newsletter and wrote this:

FOR THE EDIFICATION OF MY FELLOW STUDENTS --By: T.P.

Professor Browne confided that he had concerns about me becoming a serial killer. This was because I had told him one of the jokes that occur to me while I am listening to law lectures. Isn't that what they say about people who always make puns"that they eventually turn into serial killers?" Though I do not dismiss Professor Browne's opinion lightly, a minority of others has reacted quite oppositely, shamelessly encouraging my hobby. When I asked Professor Mogk one of the Property questions below, he kept a straight face and said,
"You're getting more out of this class than most people, aren't you?"
Anyway, I do still have these lingering questions. Maybe you can help me answer some of them.

Under the Model Penal Code, is constipation an act or an omission?

Is voluntary intoxication a failure of proof claim?

Can I sue my wife for conversion when she conceives?

In that grey area between something sounding in Torts and something sounding in Contracts, can a baby born through Caesarian section sue for damages of breach? And if we believe, as Grant Gilmore does, that the
areas of Torts and Contracts are merging, are we all Contortionists?

What is the presumptive form of relief for a breach in the sale of beach-front property in California? Pacific Performance?

When your boy- or girl-friend shows up at your door late at night carrying ropes, is he or she demonstrating his or her intent to be bound?

Is there any part of the UCC which addresses the issue of buyer or seller regret, after they realize they have made a losing contract? If so, could we call that section of the UCC The Remorse Code?

In the Ypsilanti cases, when GM worked so hard to secure their tax abatements, then, seemingly on a whim, turned around and abandoned the city, could the judge properly say, in view of the automobiles manufactured at the Willow Run plant, that GM was acting Capriciously?

If I offer you $5 for your 1957 Fender Stratocaster locked in its case, might the contract not be enforced on the grounds of failure of consideration but not because of want of consideration? After all, it is a sealed instrument, isn't it?

If I rent an apartment from J.R.R. Tolkien, would I be able to benefit from the implied warranty of Hobbitability?

If Roman Polanski conveys for life to a 13-year-old girl, does he retain the possibility of perverter?

When Professor Rodwan told the class that she was sitting on the Standing Committee, I wondered, "Is that permitted?"

When our hero Dennis O'Bryan gave a talk on his practice in representing crewmen injured while on ships, he explained, "The Jones Act is the statute injured seamen fall under." "Geez," I thought, "We better amend that
one!"
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Blogger, Party of Ten.

Here goes my first shot at a meme...here are the rules, borrowed from Johnny the Horse who in turn borrowed them from J-Walk:

"The goal of this exercise is to identify nine other bloggers that you would like to meet for dinner/drinks. The only caveat is that these bloggers must be strangers -- you haven't met them before. State the blogger's name, a link to the blog, and why you would like him/her to be in attendance".

This was tricky because I spend most of my time on my friends' blogs. Anyway, lets get started:
  1. Johnny the Horse from The Bed and Breakfast Man. He doesn't know it yet, but he was the inspiration for this comic strip. I enjoy visiting his site because he's witty and light-hearted, and that's nice in a cyberspace full of rants.
  2. Clo from Lost in Translation. Alright, I'll be the first to admit my Portuguese is very, very poor, nonetheless I often pour through this site with my little green Collin's Gem Dictionary in hand...
  3. Tvindy from Tvindy: A Blog about Nearly Everything. Intelligence + Spare Time= Free Translations of The Llama Song.
  4. Bill from the Maverick Philosopher. I often disagree with this guy, but he'd deserve a place at my table...probably at the end with J-Go. Very thoughtful posts and fun to read.
  5. Victoria from The Typographical Terror and Minutiae: The Other Blog. I love grammar freaks and she are one.
  6. Brittany from Britt's Travel Journal. Another Texan gone to Japan. Keeping up with her reminds me of my stint over there.
  7. David from An Aid to Memory. An Ohio University Classics grad, also probably sitting at the other end of the table with J-Go and Bill, but hey...
  8. Louis from the Unrepentant Marxist. Anyone who gets excited about Bogdan Denitch cooking paella can sit at my table anyday.
  9. One more seat to fill, I know it's against the rules, but I can't go anywhere without my wife.

And now the short list...Blogs I frequent of folks I know and have met:
  1. J-Go from Suburban Scrawl.
  2. E. McPan from The Neutral Zone Trap.
  3. Kurtie from Kurtie!.
  4. Raquelita from Reasons Why You Should Sit On the Back Row.
  5. Amy from Cranky Amy.

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Jim's Redux

So Mrs. Theologian and I walk into Jim's tonight, our table is free so we seat ourselves. Lauren brings me my coffee and silverware...we order and eat....

So I finish dinner and get my coffee refilled, the wife and I are discussing what to do with ourselves given it's Friday and no work tomorrow. Then Mrs. Theologian looks over my shoulder and says excitedly, "Ah! Anta no sensei da!" I turn around, and sure enough, there's Prof. 101 and his wife! Second time in a week! We got a chuckle and agreed next trip we'd call the other in advance so we can meet together and share a table.

Then Mrs. Theologian and I went home to play Trivial Pursuit: DVD Pop Culture Edition and I kicked her butt soundly. The End.
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Friday, January 28, 2005

Help for Halki

The Halki Webcam has been out of order since October and consternation is growing. The time to act is now.


How you can help:

Please contact the Greek Minister of Tourism, Mr. Dimitris Avramopoulos, and ask him to ferry an electrician to Halki.

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Someone Please...Wake Me!

I just learned the news from J-Go.
The news.
So shocking.
I need a drink....

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Thank You Al Gore!!!

My only gripe regarding cat ownership is having to regularly purchase 14 pound boxes of cat litter and haul them up the flight of stairs leading to the Cloister. That always adds an extra trip down and up the stairs unloading groceries.

BUT THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!

Today I received my first shipment of Cyber Scat Sand, 84 pounds worth, ordered off the internet and delivered to my doorstep by a sweating, wheezing UPS man.


Koubo posing with his new stash.
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Monday, January 24, 2005

Sein und Zeit


So this evening Mrs. Theologian and I take our usual seat at Jim's. Joe sees us walk in and brings me my coffee and silverware. A typical Monday dinner. Or so it seemed...

Shortly after placing my order I looked up and saw a man walk in who looked eerily familiar. Boots, glasses, beard. I smirked at my wife and said, "I know that guy." At least I was pretty sure I did. It had been 12 years since I'd last seen him.

I waited until he finished eating before I approached him. Sure enough, it was him.... my Philosophy 101 professor from my first year in college. I took his class the year before I transferred to Ohio University's Philosophy Department. The neat thing about this guy is that he did his undergrad Philosophy work at OU as well, and before I transferred he told me quite a bit about the Department and the town of Athens. We were both thrilled to discover we're now neighbors. Who knows, before it's all over we may start-up an annual Birthday Bash for Nietzsche right here in Texas. It only takes two OU Philosophy Dept. Alumni to maintain that custom--and October 15 is on a Saturday this year! Fate has spoken.


Go Katz!

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Public Service Announcement

We here at The Bawdy Cloister encourage participation in civic activities that benefit those living in the Greater San Antonio/South Texas region.

For those of you eligible to vote in the upcoming Iraqi National Assembly election, here are the driving directions to the nearest polling site:
  1. Start at The Alamo - go .1 mile
  2. ALAMO PLZ becomes E CROCKETT ST - go 0.1 mi
  3. Turn Left on BONHAM ST - go 0.3 mi
  4. Turn Right to take I-37 NORTH/US-281 NORTH - go 0.7 mi
  5. Take exit #142A towards AUSTIN onto I-35 NORTH - go 213.4 mi
  6. Take the I35E NORTH exit towards DALLAS - go 47.3 mi
  7. Take exit #418B towards SHREVEPORT onto I-20 EAST - go 12.3 mi
  8. I-20 EAST becomes I-635 NORTH - go 8.9 mi
  9. Take exit #8B towards TEXARKANA onto I-30 EAST - go 304.1 mi
  10. Take exit #138A towards L.R. RIVER PORT/MEMPHIS/L.R. NATL. AIRPORT onto I-440 EAST - go 10.0 mi
  11. Take exit #11 towards MEMPHIS onto I-40 EAST - go 334.6 mi
  12. Take exit #206 towards KNOXVILLE onto I-440 EAST - go 1.1 mi
  13. Take exit #1 towards (US-70S E)/WEST END AVE - go 0.2 mi
  14. Turn Left on MURPHY RD - go 0.3 mi
  15. Turn Left on US-70S - go 0.3 mi
  16. Turn Right on 31ST AVE S - go 0.4 mi
  17. Continue on BLAKEMORE AVE - go 0.6 mi
  18. Continue on WEDGEWOOD AVE - go 0.3 mi
  19. Arrive at Tennessee State Fairgrounds!




Have a safe trip, and remember to buckle up!



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The Poet at Rest


Donald Rumsfeld, January 2005.
(Photo taken by my Evil Little Brother)

Clarity

I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.

And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.

—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing




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Friday, January 21, 2005

"We're beginning to think maybe he was right..."

So last night ELB attended the Commander in Chief's Ball. He told me this morning that he had a great conversation and took his picture with Tommy Lasorda. He also spoke briefly with three of the Joint Chiefs (for the Army, Air Force, and Marines.)

So ELB asks one of them, "What's the Joint Chiefs' take on Gen. Shinseki now?"
General: "Well, there was a lot of grumbling early on...."
ELB: "I understand that Sir, but what about now?"
General: "We're beginning to think maybe he was right."

If the highest brass in military can admit this, why can't Rummie and the rest of the administration?
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Thursday, January 20, 2005

OUCH!

My Evil Little Brother (ELB) and I have an ongoing contest for celebrity sightings. Of course there's a ranking system, a pretty complicated and somewhat subjective ranking system. Probably the lowest on the list is merely seeing someone in concert, but greater weight is granted if you make it to the front row or the artist has since deceased.
A little higher up are personal meetings after a show or at political rallies, etc. Pictures and autographs are also a plus. (And even though "personalized" autographs are worth less on the market, they're worth more for purposes of ranking, also, the more absurd the item autographed the better.)
The highest tier is a chance meeting in public, unplanned, like at an airport or a restaurant.

So last night I get a call from ELB, "Guess who I saw yesterday?"

Now I knew he and my mom, Mrs. Old Methodist, had just returned from the Presidential gala and there were a number of celebrities and politicians there, but none that would demand awe (Lee Greenwood, Gloria Estefan, the President...) But I did remember seeing on the CNN crawler that Kelsey Grammer was MC-ing the event, so I say "Frasier?"

"Yeah, but that's not who I'm thinking of." He says with some satisfaction.

"I don't know, who?"

"Television's Ricky Schroeder, Bitch."


That really hurt. Point for ELB.

He's not doing too bad. Just off the top of my head, I know he met Ben Stein at an airport recently. He's seen the Violent Femmes and They Might Be Giants multiple times each (compared to my zero.) He's seen the late Warren Zevon, while I never got the chance. He met Mark Slaughter back stage at a Kiss concert and had him autograph a box of shaving razors (ELB forgot to bring paper, so Mark Slaughter gave him the razors, the only thing in the room autographable.)
While we've both seen Hal Holbrook and Weird Al, ELB got their autographs and I didn't. Weird Al actually signed ELB's Library Card! About the only thing we're even on is Gallagher.

Although ELB went to a taping of The Late Show with David Letterman, I met Letterman at JFK airport, I forgot I had a tiny teddy bear in my shirt pocket that my girlfriend had given me, so Letterman signs an autograph for me reading, "[Rowdy], Good luck with your bear. David Letterman."

In terms of concerts, I've had first row seats at Melissa Etheridge, Bo Diddley, The Indigo Girls, Arlo Guthrie, Willie Nelson, and The Cure. I got autographs from Arlo, Amy Ray, and Willie (but Mrs. T got to kiss him while he just pinched my lovehandles.)

Other musicians I've met include Pat Simmons (of the Doobie Brothers,) Michelle Shocked, and Jello Biafra. Oh, the Christian rock singer Carman asked me to go buy him batteries for his cordless microphone once, which I did and he reimbursed me.

I've also met some great authors, including the late, great Quentin Crisp. But also Calvin Trillin, John Updike, and Molly Ivans.

Speaking of Molly, I've encountered a number of other left-leaning hell raisers, among them Cornel West, Bogdan Denitch, Granny D, James Cromwell, Jesse Jackson, Rebecca Walker, Jim Hightower, Michael Moore, and Ralph Nader.

In the political arena…I saw Vice President Al Gore jogging on the National Mall (with a flock of guys in sunglasses jogging with him (when he was in office,) also Sen. Sam Nunn and Ambassador to Saudi Arabia Wyche Fowler. Back in Japan I saw Emperor Akihito and his wife.

And to round it all out, I've run into Oliver North, Tommy Lee Jones, Kenneth Lay, Joe Piscopo, Tom Brokaw, and Greg Manwaring (who used to be my neighbor and draw me pictures.)

That's not an all inclusive list, but damn it all, I've yet to see Ricky Schroeder.

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Mrs. T Strikes Back

Mrs. T humiliated Rowdy in a crushing defeat this evening playing Garfield Monopoly. Rowdy is bound not to hear the end of this...at least until the next game.

Current Garfield Monopoly Stats: Rowdy 1, Mrs. T 1
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Friendly Competition

Sunday night Mrs. Theologian and I were at the store and found Garfield Monopoly. She's an avid Garfield fan and we frequently play Monopoly with each other, so naturally we bought it and played as soon as we got home. The outcome?....

A crushing defeat for Mrs. Theologian!
Current Garfield Monopoly Stats: Rowdy 1, Mrs. T 0

The next evening we broke out our Star Wars Monopoly on PC, where we each control two characters and compete against two computer run characters set at Medium Difficulty (to make a total of six players.) The results?....

A Draw!
Current Star Wars Monopoly Stats: Rowdy 1, Mrs. T 1
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Thursday, January 13, 2005

Adventures in Low-Flow

The Cloister is scheduled to have its antiquated toilets replaced today with a newer low flow model. I'm not very happy about it, but there's little I can do. You end up flushing them more often and they're prone to clog. But the decision was made by the higher ups so I guess I'll just have to deal with it. I've coped with worse.
Like anyone else who has spent time in Japan, it's comfort enough knowing at least I don't have to use one of these anymore...

That's right, I'd take a low-flow over a squatter any day. Fortunately, I didn't have one of these in the J-Cloister (my residence in Japan.) I had a "western" toilet. Nonetheless, the use of squatters is inescapable for anyone spending a measurable amount of time on those happy islands.



Many of the public facilities used them, like train stations and restaurants, but some of my friends were stuck with them in their apartments. Unlucky sons of.... If you're not familiar with the squatter and you plan to visit Japan, I suggest you learn how to use one before you go.

Japan's lav situation is not all bad though. Some bars have urinals the size of industrial sinks. That's because they serve a dual purpose...your usual business, plus an easy target for someone who has overindulged on the sake and needs to hurl. Some of these can be quite unique...

Moreover, Japan also has the high-tech toilet seats that have sensors that automatically raise the lid when you walk in the bathroom, and have electrically warmed seats, and a million little buttons allowing you to squirt water on yourself at about any angle (and blow you dry when you're done.)



My favorite thing about these though is how water refilling the tank pours through a sink spout and into a hole in the lid. This allows you to wash your hands after flushing and that water then gets recycled immediately by filling the tank. Most grocery stores sell little decorations for the tank lid too that the water will pour over. My favorite were the penguins playing on ice blue rocks. Oh well, as for my current predicament, at least I don't have a squatter.

I suspect this is probably the only post I'll write relevant enough to the topic...so I'll go ahead and include this joke, Rowdy's Favorite Japanese Bathroom Humor:

A salary man walks into an izakaya and asks the owner, "O-toire wa?"

The proprietor looks at the man incredulously and responds, "O-benjo desu."

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Monday, January 10, 2005

Rowdy's Finger Puppet Theater


"Comrade Trotsky, I have discovered a weakness among the American public, that if properly exploited will surely lead to revolt and revolution!"

"Wonderful, Che. What is it?"





"Sad monkeys."
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No Spider Monkey This Year

I received my Christmas presents today from my Evil Little Brother. He shipped quite a bit, and even though I didn't get a spider monkey I'm quite content.
Apparently he got the same memo I did (that 2004 was the year for giving textiles.) I sent him a throw for his couch, and he sent me this to hang on the livingroom wall. It goes wonderfully with the Cloister's color scheme.


In addition to this, he contributed to the Reliquary. Hurray for siblings.
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Sunday, January 09, 2005

Been around the block

I've seen a lot a lot of internet tricks, but this one is simply mind boggling:

Concentrate on a number between 1 and 20 and it will appear on your screen when you click here.
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Saturday, January 08, 2005

Happy the Man


Yesterday I received my second to last Christmas present...the four disc set of B-Sides and rarities by The Cure called Join the Dots. It's been on my wish list all year, now I finally have it. Granted I already have about 75% of the tracks since I bought their singles for years and compilation records they may have contributed to. But even if I had all the music, it's still worth getting for the 40 page booklet it comes with.
Now there's only one more present outstanding...my evil little brother was late getting his stuff in the mail, but he says I should receive it by Monday. My guess is he bought me a spider monkey (the only thing left on my wish list I haven't received yet.)
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Monday, January 03, 2005

Christmas in Dixie

Here are some shots from my Christmas vacation:


Saint Augustine, Florida


Castillo de San Marcos, Saint Augustine, Florida


Six Pence Pub in Savannah, Georgia (featured in the movie Something to Talk About.)


Mercer House, Savannah, Georgia (featured in the movie Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.)


Charleston, South Carolina


Beauvoir, home of Jefferson Davis. Biloxi, Mississippi.
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